Is Your Athlete a Trophy Kid? Travel Baseball & Beyond!

I recently stumbled upon an HBO sports series called, State of Play. The first installment of the series aired on December 4, 2013 and is entitled, "Trophy Kids".  Trophy Kids follows five children involved in a variety of sports and their parents involvement with their athletic competition.  Involvement may be understating it a little, it's more like parental Obsession.

I wish I could say what I saw in the documentary was shocking.  It wasn't.  I have witnessed parents pushing their child to be tougher, train harder, be better.  I have heard parents criticize, reprimand and yell at their children.  I have been one of those parents.

The documentary is difficult to watch because of the adverse effect these parents have on their kids.  One father who's young daughter is a talented golfer, said, "Get the kid to buy into your dream. If you can get the kid to buy into what you're selling, you've got it made."  Exactly whose dream is it? 

The end of the documentary is a round table discussion with a sports psychologist, the filmmaker and former NFL Quarterback, Todd Marinovich.  Some may remember the ESPN 30 for 30 film, "The Marinovich Project." The film centered around Todd and his Father's relationship, Todd's rise in the NFL and the substance abuse problem that ended his career.  Todd was a product of an obsessive father's dream to make his son the best.

Here are a  few things I learned from the round table discussion.

1. The DREAM to play in college or make the NFL, PGA, MLB etc. should be the child's... NOT yours.

2. Love and support should be unconditional.  Win or lose. Good effort or poor, your child needs to know you love and support him.

3. Being hard on your child does not make him tougher.  Children are the product of how they are parented. Sometimes the tougher you are, the more tentative the athlete they become.

4. Ask yourself, "How do I react when my child plays poorly?"   If you can't handle your son missing a free throw, remind yourself even Michael Jordan missed a few.

5. FUN!  Your child should have fun playing the game.  Not everything it takes to play the game will be fun.  Practicing, training and learning the game isn't always fun, but is necessary.  If your son can understand and tap into what makes the game fun for him, ultimately he will experience less pressure and more joy.

These days, parents have a lot of money invested in sports.  Private lessons, physical training and traveling can cost a great deal and can be a sacrifice for a family.  However, the emotional investment is by far the most costly to a parent.  Wanting our child to be the next Babe Ruth, Tiger or Jordan can overwhelm our common sense and skew our perception of parenting.

I highly recommend watching,  "Trophy Kids."  Once it's over, I encourage you to have a conversation with your child and do a little soul searching.  I know I will.